Rejoice!

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice..."



One word:  Rejoice.  


This verse emphasizes this act of joy, calling us to take part always and again.



This year will be my year of rejoicing.


To Live Again

It only makes sense that my first post in bringing this blog back to life would be about dying.
It's been running through me for a few months now.

Somber, serious...
          Yes, it's been a deeply personal journey, but it's journeying with destination

and at the end of the road stands a cross.

The cross was a form of Roman execution outside the parameters of Jewish law because of its atrocity.  Even amongst the Romans, it was reserved for the worst of the worst.  It involved shame, humiliation and torture.  It was meant for people who were deemed as having no redeemable value.

Then Jesus told his disciples,  
               “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 
                                                                      -- Matthew 16:24-25

Even before He walked the road Himself, Jesus knew what true life cost.  
                             And He invited us to live.
                                                                            By dying.

In the Garden of Gethsemene, twice Jesus shows us what this means.  Twice He surrenders His will to the will of the Father.  In the very garden whose name means "oil press", we witness Jesus surrender His own flesh to be battered and crushed, so the work of the Spirit may be poured out.

As a result of this surrender, He was shamed, humiliated and tortured.  He was deemed irredeemable by the masses lest He prove Himself otherwise.

He didn't try to prove Himself.  He didn't try to explain.  He didn't shout out threats of judgement or promises of His return.  Not in that moment.  In that moment, He gave up hold of any last thread of repute. 

He endured in the confidence of His obedience.  He forgave.

                       He told us to take up our cross

                                                                     and follow...

We can sanitize His death with nice metaphors and treat surrender like it's simply an emotion that makes us feel holier, or that it's something we pray will passively happen to us.  However, Jesus showed quite graphically that surrender is an action we must take.  It's a soldier surrendering arms and any attempt to defend one's self, giving oneself completely in the care of the ruling authority.

Surrender is painful because we are giving up our rights, our complaints, and our desires.  We are saying that His ideas are worth letting ours die.  It is in effect, our last will and testament.

Jesus carried His cross down the Via Dolorosa, the way of pain.  But His footsteps didn't stop there because the suffering alone wasn't the point.  

His journey had a destination.  

He carried His cross all the way to Golgatha.  Only with death could there be resurrection.

And now, I am called to follow.
Am I willing 
              to let God show me what part of myself I've been hanging onto for too long...
                                                                                                                                 and let it die?
Are you?

Knowing full well it means:

• giving up the need to be justified, proven or vindicated
• forgiving the one who hurt you the most
• letting go of control
• taking time to talk to the one on the bus beside you when all you want is to sleep
• holding your tongue from speaking slander and gossip
• initiating conversation even though you're the introvert
• just listening instead of having to have the answer
• looking at the people around you, believers and unbelievers alike, through eyes of grace
• asking God's opinion on matters
• giving up your reputation for obedience

If we are really willing to let these things die, we need to stop feeding them under the table and hoping they just go away.  We have to choose to trust that He can handle it, that He can carry us.  We have to be willing to carry them all the way to the cross
                                          and leave them there
                                                                                with Jesus.

It's only in that death that resurrection can come in us.  
And in that, we accept His invitation to become more and more of the person He created us to be.  

In that, we find ourselves truly living.

I'm keeping it fresh and keeping it real with Bonnie and others over at Faith Barista.

Dear Valentine,

Last year at this time, I posted what became my most popular post, entitled It Should be Addressed.  It was a vulnerable statement of my identity in the midst of singleness.  Because of the thousand comments in my life that I have received in regards to my singleness, it was also a difficult thing to write, but some things, frankly, should be addressed.

It is not encouraging or helpful for people to suggest that faith is lacking, or that if one would just find contentment in his/her singlehood, only then will the love of one's life come.  It relies on an underlying premise that something is wrong in the single person's life, that something is broken.  It creates a belief that one is flawed, until... they are no longer single.

In truth, the love of my life is God.  I seek His will, His ways.  I am a woman full of both faith and contentment, yet I remain single.  The way I see it, I am complete, because I am in Him.  So if there is a flaw, isn't it in those particular words of "encouragement?"

A friend and I were talking recently about how we love the way God works.  God doesn't only begin to see us as useful when we become one with another.  He has purpose in us when we are single and purpose in us when we are married.   
             Shall I repeat that?   
                                 He has purpose in us!

Now that is encouraging.  In the meantime I will continue to trust the Lord that my promise will come.  Afterall, He gave me a promise some years back that I would not remain alone.  I can trust His word. It may not look or come as I would have expected, but it will come.

God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? - Num 23:19

His is the voice to which I will listen.  I will continue to live out His purpose within me even as I stand in Him alone.  I will live this life abundantly, just as He gave it to me, in both singleness and when married.   I will not worry about the words said by others.  And to you, dear Valentine, I pray for you, that you would be strong in courage as you live out the purpose He set in you.  This is the man I will love, and in God's time, we will live out His purposes together.

The Grammar of Trust

                            
                  trust  (trst)

v. trust·ed, trust·ing, trusts

v.intr.

1. To have or place reliance; depend: Trust in the Lord. Trust to destiny.

2. To be confident; hope.

 

n.

1. Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.

2. Custody; care.

3. Something committed into the care of another; charge.

The beginning of this year marked a new season for me, one where God would show Himself as my source, even through the very food I ate.  Prompted by Bonnie over at Faith Barista, I found a word to mark this journey.  My word for this year is TRUST.  I remember the pain I was in and the emotional struggles that came with the pain as I felt the loneliness, guilt and shame that stemmed from my physical condition preventing me from doing what I thought I ought to be doing.  I wrote about beginning this journey here.  Now these few months later I am amazed at what God has done, not just in my body which is in a time of recovery, but also in my relationship with Him and the ministry He has put before me.  Even in my days of no "productivity," laying listless on the couch, He increased my territory even as He did Jabez.  We trust Him, because He is the One by whom all good things are done.  It is in Him that we live, move and have our being.   

      Trust is an act, 

           a verb that rests in my hands, my head and my heart.

I was recently talking with a friend who is crying out for freedom from oppression.  The words were simply, "I need a miracle."  This person confessed to being confused about God's very existence and yet experiences had shown that God would be the only answer, so together we prayed.  The miracle is up to God.  I knew in that moment that God would deliver, and that I do not have to strive for Him to do something great.  My God is good and He is trust worthy.   

      In that moment of confidence,  

             I realized my verb is also a noun. 

My friend is in the TRUST of the Lord, in His care, His charge and custody.

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed,

   a stronghold in times of trouble.

Those who know your name trust in you,

   for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

                             --Psalm 9:9-10

The necklace seen in the above picture was just purchased on my very recent visit Stateside.  I had been wanting to wear my word as a reminder of the treasure that TRUST truly is.  This confidence, this assurance, this hope... it comes from knowing that God really is who He says He is.

I was thrilled to find this shop in my hometown of Tulsa.  I think Vintage Pearl did a great job making my word special and so I wanted to give them a little shout-out.  They have a lovely website and can ship internationally in addition to locations within the US.  Check them out! Perhaps there is a word or a person on your heart that you could use as inspiration for a piece.

Putting the Soul at Ease

Painting by Hiroko Sakai

Yesterday a couple of friends and I drove the few hours to Dublin to check out a car that I was considering purchasing.  I am not one to rush into decisions like this and a lot of prayer had gone into the whole process.  The night before, though, I caught myself panicking a bit.  Would I know if this was the right car or not?  Would I get suckered and have used God's money irresponsibly? If it was no good, would I have wasted both my and my friends' time and paid the costly petrol prices for nothing?  My emotions were all over the place and in the end I just had to pray, to ask God that He would do as He has done before, giving me that sense in my spirit of a definite yes or no.

Often, especially as Christians, our desire to do what is right becomes the stress that holds us back from doing anything.  We can easily begin to over-think things, like we are playing a game of chess and somehow have to figure in all the possibilities and ramifications of the each move, preventing us from actually moving. We get so lost in our own attempts to assses,

our emotions begin to dominate our choices 

and we either rush into something or retreat entirely.

Over the last few weeks I have talked about the REST God has been bringing to my body and the REST He calls us to spiritually, but what can lasso our emotions and bring them back into proper order, bring them into REST?

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 

--Phillipians 4:6

When we become anxious we are letting our emotions dictate to us based on what we perceive with our own eyes.  One examination of the word used here reveals a sense of being tossed to and fro, an emotional unrest.  In this verse, we are again being called to REST, this time in our emotions.  As Christians we know we are supposed to pray and trust God, but when our emotions get the best of us, it is hard to really let go.  If we read the verse again however there is something more mentioned than just the anxiety and the prayers; there is thanksgiving.  When we give thanks we are not just glorifying God, but speaking to our own heart about His faithfulness.  When we are struggling to find hope for the big things, we begin to thank Him for the small things.  Somehow our faith builds and we get so caught up in His goodness that it is easier to do that which He called us to do, to TRUST Him.  We move so much into Him that our emotions are restored to a proper functioning order and we have peace, even if the situation still seems uncertain.

 Thankfulness brings about emotional REST.

We arrived safely in Dublin, meeting up with a friend from our sister church there with a background with auto mechanics.  Upon investigating the car, I just had this gut feeling it was a no, but I waited as my friends checked over the engine.  My friend noticed details that were questionable and then more evidence that the car had been in a major crash.  When the salesman asked why we weren't buying it, we simply said we didn't want a car that had been previously wrecked.  He asked my friend to show him, after which he got very rude calling us liars and asking us in not so polite words to leave.  During the whole instance I had total peace without even my emotions getting riled at the behavior, because I had already begun to thank God for answering my prayer for giving me that definite answer for which I had prayed.   I continued thanking Him for things like the bonding between my friends during the journey, for the gift of service from my friend in Dub and his teaching us key things to enable us to check engines ourselves.  In fact, by the end of the day, I had been thanking God to such a degree that I was so full of faith, 

                            I was experiencing peace 

about other bigger emotionally fueled issues that I will face in this coming year.  I may not have come home with a car, but I was at rest and it didn't even seem to matter where the day or petrol costs went.  I can trust God with these things.

Are you ready to find rest?  In those toughest, most emotional times, will you begin to thank Him?  If you cannot thank Him yet for specific things regarding the situation because of emotional wounds, can you at least thank Him for the little things?  Just thank Him, and begin to experience His REST.

Moving in Confidence

My favorite view of Lake Victoria on the way to work at the orphanage.

The process of shifting from Africa to Ireland wasn't easy.  I was moving from a world where need was visibly evident from every angle to a country that looked like a piece of heaven itself.  Because of that, it was a vision some folk couldn't latch onto at first and many would question.  I did not.  It was a move made in confidence, with the complete certainty that this is where God wanted me.

Sometimes I wonder how I can be so confident in certain things, like transcontinental relocation, and so insecure in other things.  I came here so excited to see what God would do, with no doubt that God's hand was in it.  I was eager to get involved in whatever God put before me.  When I was placed in worship, it confirmed something God had already spoken to me which should have given me more assurance, yet I was riddled with fears.  It took time and some emotional outbursts to get to a point where I was able to move in that role confidently, and yet it has been an amazing journey full of joy ever since.  I even spoke recently of how God continues to challenge me in that area here.

I was visiting with a friend yesterday and she was asking how I was feeling this first bit into my detox.  I replied that although I wouldn't have imagined so, I honestly felt as exhausted as I did when I was recovering from malaria.  That of course led to questions which ended in sharing a lot of wild memories of stories that still seem so unreal even to me who lived them, but are indeed absolutely true.  Stories of hardship, perseverance, and in the end, victory.  When my friend suggested I write these down, I shrugged them off, saying they were nothing compared to other friends I have there that are "really living it."

In one breath I had devalued all the miraculous things God had done, because it didn't compare to my idea of things. 

Oh, God forgive me.

I was reminded of one of those friends a few years back, when after hearing one of her wild stories from the unforgiving islands of Lake Victoria,  I made a similar comment.  She corrected me right then, saying I should not compare.  She went on to say how she'd rather deal with the actual cobras she had than the corrupt government officials I had to deal with, that if she were to compare, she'd see me as the one "really living it."

When we compare ourselves like this we find that we do one of two things:  we either push ourselves to accomplish His work out of our own strength instead of by the Spirit, or we give up part of our call to try living out everyone else's.  Both only lead to failure followed by more attempts to prove ourselves, followed by more failure and so on.  This cycle is not the victorious life to which God has called us.

Just as He did with worship, God is calling me to be confident in who I am in Him alone.  This confidence means making decisions based on His wisdom and not out of guilt.  It means letting go of hurts from folk (including myself) who have wrongly judged and accused me, forgiving them, and finding joy in the healing.  This confidence means sharing stories of faith without comparison.  Why?  Because it brings Him glory and builds our... confidence. 

You show that you are a letter from Christ,

the result of our ministry, 

written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, 

not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

Such confidence we have through Christ before God.

Not that we are competent in ourselves

to claim anything for ourselves, 

but our competence comes from God. 

He has made us competent

as ministers of a new covenant

—not of the letter but of the Spirit; 

for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. 

2 Corinthians 3:3-6

For more stories of how folk are moving forward with confidence, visit Bonnie at

One Word for the New Year

 
The week between St. Stephens Day and New Year's found me on the couch, incapacitated by the flu.  Because of some health issues I have been facing in recent months, the New Year was marking the beginning of a strict three month detox program to allow my systems to heal and recover.  In addition to being sick, I was a bit disappointed that my last week of dietary freedom was spent sucking down little more than chicken soup and lemon-ginger tea.

In the months before, I had been feeling very confident about what I sensed God doing in the New Year.  I have been excited about the health He is restoring, the ministry He is expanding and the revival I sense He is bringing to this country.  In that last week however, it seemed that for every cough, ache and sneeze there was a doubt or fear to accompany it.  I had nightmares about visas, ministry obstacles and unanswered promises in my personal life.  And I couldn't even eat chocolate.

The Exodus is full of stories of God's divine providence...  Cloud by day, fire by night, mysterious manna kind of stuff.  As one who has lived on the support of others for so long, I also have these stories directly from the miraculous hand of God: money that appeared from no where, help that came just in time, triumphant endings to seemingly impossible situations.  Yet how many chapters begin with the Lord having to remind those same Israelites who walked under protection, who ate food from heaven, that He was indeed still God?

In this new chapter of my life, the the Lord is reminding me to TRUST.

On Saturday night, I was feeling so ill.  I was trying to sleep, but couldn't with all the fears swirling around my head.  I was feeling hopeless and weak, yet my mouth spoke a phrase my brain had not ordered.  I said out loud, "But I trust You God."  It was said with confidence and resolution, and I knew instantly it was true.  As I heard my own voice, I was easily settled with a peace that defied my own understanding.  It was in this peace that I was able to finally sleep.

God took the Israelites all the way to Canaan, a land flowing with milk and honey (and perhaps even chocolate, wink wink).  Of one thing we can be sure, He is so very faithful.  This year as you look ahead wondering what will come, remember this...

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
   and lean not on your own understanding;
 

in all your ways submit to him,
   and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:4-5 

He will not fail you and He will bring you peace.  He will lead you on the path He has put before you and He will provide.  He is faithful and merciful, and most of all, He loves you.  Trust Him.

This post is linked with Bonnie and others at