Dear Valentine,

Last year at this time, I posted what became my most popular post, entitled It Should be Addressed.  It was a vulnerable statement of my identity in the midst of singleness.  Because of the thousand comments in my life that I have received in regards to my singleness, it was also a difficult thing to write, but some things, frankly, should be addressed.

It is not encouraging or helpful for people to suggest that faith is lacking, or that if one would just find contentment in his/her singlehood, only then will the love of one's life come.  It relies on an underlying premise that something is wrong in the single person's life, that something is broken.  It creates a belief that one is flawed, until... they are no longer single.

In truth, the love of my life is God.  I seek His will, His ways.  I am a woman full of both faith and contentment, yet I remain single.  The way I see it, I am complete, because I am in Him.  So if there is a flaw, isn't it in those particular words of "encouragement?"

A friend and I were talking recently about how we love the way God works.  God doesn't only begin to see us as useful when we become one with another.  He has purpose in us when we are single and purpose in us when we are married.   
             Shall I repeat that?   
                                 He has purpose in us!

Now that is encouraging.  In the meantime I will continue to trust the Lord that my promise will come.  Afterall, He gave me a promise some years back that I would not remain alone.  I can trust His word. It may not look or come as I would have expected, but it will come.

God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? - Num 23:19

His is the voice to which I will listen.  I will continue to live out His purpose within me even as I stand in Him alone.  I will live this life abundantly, just as He gave it to me, in both singleness and when married.   I will not worry about the words said by others.  And to you, dear Valentine, I pray for you, that you would be strong in courage as you live out the purpose He set in you.  This is the man I will love, and in God's time, we will live out His purposes together.

A Quest for Queso

My good friends know that Mexican, specifically Tex-Mex, is one of my absolute favorite foods.  Whenever I make it to the States on a visit, I tend to frequent these establishments a bit more than I did even when I lived there.  The nice thing about Tex-Mex is that is relatively easy to replicate wherever one goes, and can taste really great depending on some of the local ingredients.  For example, I've never had better guacamole than when I lived in Uganda.  Those avocados were so large and tree-ripened... so great.  On the other hand, the cheese there was rare, expensive, and not so great.  So great guac, no queso.

Living in Europe now, I have great access to all kinds of quality cheeses which is such a joy.  A good Dutch Gouda works great in those Tex-Mex recipes like quesadillas or enchiladas in place of the Jack cheese that we can't get here.  Unfortunately, my favorite cheese in Tex-Mex is the one I get in a little bowl before my meal, that steamy white milky goodness known as Queso Blanco.  While most restaurants use Asadero cheese, also known as Oaxaca or Chihuahua, which is a Mexican soft cheese, the most successful copycat recipes shockingly use....

                  wait for it...

White american cheese.

Now before you all get into some snarky debate as to whether we should ever call the processed mounds that fill American cuisine "cheese", let me just say, some things work.  In search of satisfaction, I've tried so many recipes spanning the gamut of great quality cheeses that only get grainy or oily with the heat to cheap cheeses that just don't have the right flavor.  At this point, I'm willing to try anything to satisfy that craving for something an ocean away.  But living in Europe, means no American cheese in sight. 

I did a little searching online for an adequate substitute and found, well, processed cheese from an American subsidiary of a European company. You can get Laughing Cow and Babybel rounds both here and in the States, and a blog I ran across had used them to make a different cheese dip, which made my own wheels turn as to how I could adapt it to make my beloved Queso Fresco.  Here's how it went...

I started by melting some Babybel rounds in the microwave, like 15 seconds. until it was liquid.

It only looks yellow because of the light.  Then I added the Laughing Cow and put it in the microwave for another 15 or 20 seconds.

At this point, when I mixed it,  it only got chewier and not as melty.  I would have given up, but the site I'd found said this was right and to just heat it again.  It took around 30 seconds and then was melty again.

I then added a bit of milk and heated again until it was the right consistency.  You can see how it smoothly coats the spoon.

So then I just stirred in some cumin and finely diced jalapenos (my town doesn't have the tins of green chilies).

It was really that simple and fast.  I am now so excited!  I can have my Queso Blanco anytime!  Now it is a bit saltier and stronger in flavor than the stuff I love back home, but I definitely am calling this one a success!  Time for me to grab my made from scratch spicy beef and bean mix, my homemade fresh tomoato salsa, and all the fixin's for a Nacho Salad!  Oh yeah!

Craving satisfied!

Sweet Reminders

Living away from home means discovering cravings for seemingly random things that you never think twice about when you are actually there visiting.  For example this Christmas, I was really missing my family.  I've had many Christmases away from home, but this one just felt different.  So when a friend asked what they could put in a special Christmas parcel for me, one thing came to mind almost immediately...

Now, I often ask for different gummy candies that I miss... things like Twizzlers -- original only, I'm a candy purist and Peach Rings -- the closest thing to a Haribo Pietzsche that can be gotten.  But this year, I had only one real gummy craving and it wasn't even something I ate often when I lived there.

Today I opened up a bag of memories disguised as Brach's Orange Slices.  These orange gumdrop type candies shaped like segments of orange are worth way more than the buck 99 dropped at the local grocery store.  Even just the look of them sets my mind spinning with thoughts of my family.  These were my father's favorite candy and he seemed to always have a bag sitting next to the driver's seat in his car, little sugary crystals sliding out of the bag with every turn.  Even though he's gone, I still always associate this candy with him.

And then there's the cake... particularly at Christmas time, there is only one cake my sister always begs (and I mean begs!) my mum to make.  My mum's variation on Southern Living's recipe of an Orange Slice Cake much like this one makes for a costly treat and so it's not one she makes often, but when we ask, er... I mean, beg, my mum will surely make it, and it's always amazing.  I can't think of this candy without seeing the interplay between my mum and sis, and of course smelling the spices from the cake as it bakes.

While I don't have any sentimental ties between my brothers and this candy, as we only met in adulthood, even now typing this a new connection is being made.  Because now in my life, when I think of family, these two brothers instantly pop into my mind and I long to see them just as badly.  So as I eat these little sweet bites, I'll also think of them.  They do afterall live in Florida, home of the best oranges.

So thank you, friend, for giving me a sweet reminder of my family to start off this new year.  And to my family... I love you.